mats&cillan

I have friends visiting and we spend the day on the Stanford University campus. It’s mid March, and it’s sunny and warm. The lawns are green, and the palm trees too.

It’s really, really, pretty.

“Just imagine how it would affect you to be spending your time in a place like this”, one of my friends says.

I know exactly what he means. He means that it can’t be good for people to be that privileged. He means that it can’t be good for people to get used to a world that pleasant, because for the most part it’s not. For most people it’s not.

That’s what I think too, but I rarely say it. I don’t say it out loud because I know it’s an alien thought and I know many Americans wouldn’t understand, or wouldn’t agree.

I grew up in Sweden, and as of today I have lived in California for 14 years, 8 months, and 12 days. Before I moved here I lived in Göteborg, the second largest city in Sweden. There my friends and I went to a university with no real campus. The departments rented buildings here and there downtown, seemingly at random. We had class on the second floor above a cafe, or next door to a nightclub.

I had forgotten about the nightclub until I type this, but it’s true. That was the Department of Philosophy, and that’s where one of my friends who is visiting now got his degree.

I love California. The first year I lived here I realized that California on any given day feels exactly like a June day in Sweden. Yeah, June in Sweden is a little unpredictable. But it’s a lot better than December or February.

My friend’s comment, about privilege not being altogether a good thing for people, made me feel good. It made me feel at home. I was with people who think like me, talk like me, see the world the way I do. It was comforting.

As an immigrant you forget sometimes what it feels like to belong. You forget the comfort, and the warmth.