happy memorial day

How many of my Facebook friends are or have been members of the armed forces? Four. Happy Memorial Day to Scott, Paul, Loribelle, and Kelly. (I'm sure there are more, actually, only I don't know about that part of their lives.)

more on death, and social media

One of our former students died over the weekend in a motorcycle accident. She and I were Facebook friends, and I've kept reading the comments on her Facebook wall as it has turned into a wall of condolences. It's very touching. She is loved.

Alice and I also followed each other on Instagram, the photo sharing app. The last photo on her Instagram feed is a picture of the three wheel rental motorcycle that she traveled on when they had the accident. Her comment under the picture: "What did I get myself into?"

Alice's death is heartbreaking. I don't have words for what that photo does.

pause

Too much death. No words. Just sadness. One, dead at 27, too young. Another, a mother leaving behind a 27 year old daughter who needs her very much.

Life goes on, because there is no other way.

and now we wait, for three business days

Four years ago I was a perfect cancer patient. I cracked jokes left and right, never complained, and asked the nurses, sincerely, how they were doing as they were hooking up the IV for the chemo. And I listened to their answers, the stories of siblings dying in the Filippines.

For nine months I did whatever I was asked to do. I completely subjected myself to the apparatus of a large hospital. Especially when I was going through the 30 consecutive days of radiation treatment I had the sensation of "driving my body in". No one asked for my mind, my self, my person. They treated the body, and they did so well.

Now, four years and several clear mammograms later, the yearly, routine, mammogram makes me faint. I'm scared.

On Thursday, when I had the test done, I answered the technician's perfunctory "How are you?", with the truth. I told her I was scared. "But why?", she asked, fiddling with my paperwork. "Oh, because of your previous surgery?"

I wanted to ask her if she was dumb. Surgery is the easy part of cancer treatment. You're not even awake. Maybe she thought it was a clever euphemism. Call it surgery and we won't remember that we're in the facility to be checked for signs of cancer.

A friend told me on Thursday that it's OK to be scared. I needed to hear that. I AM scared. I don't want to die. Everyone who says "Oh, but you'll be fine", have no idea what they're talking about. If we're lucky we're fine. But sometimes we're not.

pearls, and a bonus

I'll admit to being more than a little social media tired right now, I mean how much news, views, photos, crap, do you really need? Here are two things I do like, though:

1. Suri's Burn Book. "A study in Suri and the people who disappoint her." Suri who? Suri Cruise, of course. Hilarious.

2. American Colter. A student film project that you can support here.

And then there is this: Gin O'Clock on Facebook, and Elizabeth Windsor on Twitter.