I like Facebook and Myspace and the internet in general because it makes it easy to reconnect with friends. If you have moved and lost touch with people, finding them again is a really cool thing.
This has happened a couple of times now: I get a message from someone after a long while of us not being in touch. In their message they give a quick update about their life, and then they ask me how I am doing.
Because it's the truth, when I respond I tell them that I had breast cancer last year, but that I am doing great now.
Then I don't hear from them again.
When I was diagnosed with invasive cancer I made two decisions: 1. not to waste any precious hours, or minutes, of my life, while I have it, on worrying, and 2. not to hold it against anybody how they react when I tell them I have cancer.
So I don't hold it against anybody. But it does make me sad that they don't write back.
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5 comments:
i can sympathise with your feelings, absolutely, that's not a cool thing to do. I think many people get a bit scared, as if they're thinking: shit, i didn't need to know that, because now i have to think about what to say and say something really clever and wise.
not an excuse though.
you're strong!
Hi Angry Mother, and thank you! What I wish people would do is simply say, "Oh, that sucks, but I am glad you are doing well." And then go onto talking about something else.
And, yeah, sometimes I don;t say anything. But that makes me feel weirdly bad, as if I betray all other cancer patients and cancer survivors. The point is that there are so many survivors out there. And I am thinking that in the long run that should make people optimistic, not scared.
Lotta,
I fully agree with Angry Mother - and yes, it's sometimes very hard to express levels of heavy/complicated/tangled emotions, be it online or IRL, especially when there's been a long gap in communication. FB is a weird place and a good place at the same time.
I am very glad to hear that you are feeling better (although we have never met) - and your comment above was both respectful and positive. Those feelings are all over your blog too, and not to get all woo-woo about it, but I fully believe that when a person is living in/working with optimistic thinking - that will in turn feed back into both the personal and the universal. So, you know - it's ALL GOOD.
take care,
Hi Maud, thanks for your comment. I absolutely agree with you on the importance of positive thinking.
I know it's scary. I mean, I was the one who found a lump in my breast, had the tests, and then had someone tell me it was invasive cancer. I was scared!
I spend a lot of my professional time teaching about race and ethnicity and diversity. And I think it;s important to remember, and acknowledge, that not everybody;s experience is the same. That;s why I chose to tell people I had cancer last year, when I could easily leave it out. Because I think if we leave things out, we withhold opportunities to learn.
WORD!
you take care,
M :)
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