art, exercise, and cancer

I saw my oncologist last week, and we were talking about exercise and weight. Cancer survivors need to exercise regularly.

Like most people I have a hard time fitting everything I want to do into the limited number of hours I have free everyday. I told my doctor I spend a lot of time on photography, and that it eats into my exercise time. She said it's great that I do photography: "It's good for you to be doing something that you really enjoy".

So there I was, with my cancer doctor. Who told me that to stay healthy, I should exercise. And do art.

Ironic, isn't it, that art, and physical education, are the two areas that public schools cut first when they need to cut somewhere.

If you want to create lifelong healthy habits, and healthy people, you need to let the kids learn how to enjoy art, and physical exercise. It won't matter if they know how to do math if they're dead.

stand up 2 cancer

I caught a glimpse of the Stand Up 2 Cancer telethon on Friday night. We were going out to dinner so I only watched for a few minutes, but had I had more time I probably would have watched more. As a cancer survivor I obviously feel a strong connection to others struck by the disease, and I value the support.

At the same time, there was something about the entire thing that I did not like. I couldn't put my finger on it, but the next day I found this column in the Washington Post, where writer Hank Steuver comes out kind of harshly against the telethon. He ends his piece like this:


[Cancer in America] is sacrosanct. Getting it, fighting it, coming back from the brink of it and even dying from it -- these are the sacraments of cancer, America's secular religion.

There are lots of comments to the column, and many of those are negative. How dare anyone criticize a good cause?

I liked the piece. It pointed out the use of celebrities to act as stylish preachers, and that hit the mood well, I thought.

But there was something else, too, that annoyed me. I realized I was annoyed the same way I was after having seen Slumdog Millionaire, the immensely popular movie about a boy from a Mumbai slum who wins big on a TV game-show. I think the movie turned an awful reality into a feel-good moment for privileged westerners, and at the same time allowed us, the privileged westerners, to continue doing nothing for kids who grow up with nothing.

The cancer telethon turned an awful reality into something palatable. It repackaged the horrors of cancer into something desirable.

I had five months of chemo. The reality? I hated being bald. I hated painting on my eyebrows in the morning. I hated gaining weight. I hated the smell in the chemo center. Now I have chronic joint pain. And those are the things I am comfortable talking about in public. There are many more side effects of chemo and radiation, during and after treatment, that I don't talk about. Why? I don't want to. It's private.

And that's not even mentioning the fact that cancer kills people. When you are diagnosed you are scared shitless. You deal with the information as well as you can, and you make choices that you believe will take you through the months of treatment that lay ahead.

I did well during treatment, I worked, and I didn't complain. I do well now. I can handle what's going on, and I am not scared. But that shouldn't lead anyone to think it's easy. It's not.

The telethons, and the well meaning, and well groomed, celebrities, and the bald women in chic glasses, all make it look easy and attractive.

I had a student once, a white young man, who said that "If I were Mexican my life would be easier, because then I'd know who I was". To any person of color that statement is laughable. It completely negates the experience of under represented groups. Obviously, in America life is easier for a white person.

"Cancer survivors have a purpose", said the Today Show's Ann Curry in an interview with fellow morning star, and cancer survivor, Good Morning America's Robin Roberts.

That's the image we want to see, and constantly recreate: Cancer creates strength and purpose, and beauty in bald heads. We're almost saying, as misguidedly as my student, that life would be easier if we were cancer survivors.

Cancer is not pretty. The fact that everything on television has to be pretty is doing a disservice to survivors, and patients, and to all of us. I'm not a very religious person, but it seems to me a dose of old-fashioned religion would be helpful. Instead of turning to a 'new religion', we should be grateful for what we have, value our time on earth, and try to do good. We all have a purpose. Cancer does not give that to us.

will cancer kill you?

Everybody's favorite actor, Michael Douglas, has been diagnosed with stage 4 throat cancer. He has a tumor the size a walnut at the base of his tongue, that was caused by drinking and smoking. Stage 4 means that the cancer has spread to other organs, and in general that is a very serious diagnosis.

Obviously this is awful news. On Tuesday Douglas went on the Late Show with David Letterman to talk about his upcoming film, and his illness. It seems that he and Letterman are friends, and it was a touching interview.

Today I caught a minute of Entertainment Tonight (or some show like that), and heard a woman ask the rhetorical question, "Will Michael Douglas loose his famous voice?".

Well, he might, obviously. And I am sure he is dealing with that possibility as well as he can, given the fact that his voice is his livelihood.

Famous people with cancer or other challenges are often held up as examples in our culture. They are complemented for their strength, and fawned over.

Or, they are treated with no respect at all. Drives me crazy.

cancer and estrogen

Since being treated for invasive breast cancer two years ago I've had to make some changes to my diet. The type of cancer that I had is sensitive to estrogen, so I should avoid any foods with high levels of plant estrogen. That means soy, most importantly, but also other beans, and grains.

The research around plant estrogen is not conclusive, though. It's actually contradictory. Plant estrogen can alleviate symptoms of menopause in healthy women, and some argue that it protects healthy women from breast cancer. But in my case it's the other way around.

In addition to the plant estrogen I'm avoiding food stuffs that are bad for you in general, or bad for cancer patients in particular. This is what I don't eat or drink:

red meat
alcohol
coffee
soy
garbanzo beans
flax seed
sweets, desserts
anything white (rice, white flour, sugar)

There are also a bunch of chemicals that act as estrogen in the body. Those include BPA, which is used in plastics and in the lining of cans, and parabens, which are preservatives that are used in skin lotions, shampoos, and other cosmetics.

I don't store food in plastic containers, and I don't eat or drink anything out of a can. The parabens, though, are harder to avoid. But I'm working on it.

vanilla, yum

Today is the Swedish National Day, as well as National Cancer Survivors Day. Double reason for ice cream, if you ask me. Click here to see the sundae Dan and I split today.

idiot

Someone on the Martha Stewart morning show just injected a dog, and referred to vitamin C as "anti-cancer".

It's extremely upsetting to me that people make it sound as if simple vitamins could stop a disease. "Anti-cancer" isn't a casual statement. It could sound a lot like a promise to someone who needs hope more than anything.

The truth is that nothing is anti-cancer, except death. Take vitamin D, exercise, eat lots of veggies. Avoid red meat, smoking and alcohol. But there are no guarantees.

in the doctor's office

health insurance, again

I went to see my oncologist today. (And isn't that a sentence you don't think you'll ever write.)

I like her. She's a good doctor. Click here if you want to see her picture.

First I have to go the lab downstairs. You sign in, they check your insurance card, and the second you sit back down again they call your name. Very efficient.

When I had had my blood drawn I went upstairs and paid the $10 copay for the doctor's visit. I waited 15 minutes, then I got called in and the nurse took my blood pressure, and weight, and temperature.

She put me in a room and I waited another 15 minutes before the doctor showed up.

The visit took ten minutes. Maybe 15. Everything seemed OK.

Anthem Blue Cross is the largest health insurance company in California. I heard on the radio today that they are proposing to increase the rates for private insurance holders (people who buy their insurance on the open market, and don't get it through an employer) with up to 39%. Why? Because the company's costs have increased. In the recession young, healthy people drop their insurance when they loose their jobs. So Anthem Blue Cross is left with the older, sicker, people to insure, and fewer young healthy ones to help offset the costs.

So, yeah.

quit smoking, eat your veggies, minimize the alcohol, and take your vitamin d

Today's World Cancer Day. According to Wikipedia, cancer causes 12.5% of deaths in the world. Cancer is preventable, in some cases curable, and almost always treatable.

National Cancer Survivors Day is celebrated the first weekend of June in North America. In 2004 there were 9.8 million cancer survivors in the US.

relieved

I had the first follow up mammogram after my cancer treatment today, and it came back all clear. My friend Steve said that was the best news he had heard in 250 years. I said he must be old.

any info=too much info

Maureen Dowd writes in The New York Times about Elizabeth Edwards, and her new book. Ms. Dowd says it's a 'complicated question', and I agree.

I identify with Mrs. Edwards. I've had breast cancer, and I've had the experience of learning that I've been lied to over a long period of time (it was long ago, but still, it happened).

The interview on Oprah was hard to watch. Something isn't right. And I hate thinking that, because it makes me speculate about the Edwards's marriage, and their psyches. I wish I hadn't seen that interview. And I guess that also means that I wish she hadn't written the book.

On second thoughts: I know what didn't sound right to me. It was when she said she wanted to "protect him", protect the husband who had betrayed her. How about she protecting herself, and he taking care of the mess he created?

modernity

When you have chemo, you know that you're going to loose your hair. Being bald isn't fun, but there is nothing you can do about it.

What they don't tell you before hand, is that it's very likely you are also going to get fat. That's a side effect from all the different medications that come with the chemo.

Yeah, bald and fat.

So, I've had a few pounds to loose. Most of it is gone, but I am still on a carrot heavy diet.

The other day Dan's truck needed work. I dropped it off, and walked home. It took me about an hour and a half, which was good. Carrot diets should be accompanied by lots of exercise, we all know that.

Yesterday I timed myself again, when I walked over there to pick up the truck. An hour and a half, on the nose.

The drive home? 12 minutes.

one year later

It's a year ago this week since I started chemo. It was on a Tuesday, like today, and the date was April 22.

The day before I started treatment Babs came with me for a training session. A nurse told us about drugs, side effects, what to eat during the months of treatment, and what not to eat. It was pretty overwhelming.

Then the next day Dan came with me for the actual infusions. It wasn't 10% as bad as I thought it would be. It wasn't 10% as bad as he thought it would be either. When we were done I waited outside while he got the car. He told me later that he thought he'd have to carry me the few steps between the bench were I was sitting and the curb, but I got up and walked just like a normal person.

The only images of cancer patients that are available in popular culture come from after school specials, movies like Terms of Endearment, and the cover of National Enquirer. It's not helpful. Cancer is a horrible disease, but many people go through treatment living relatively normal lives. It's perfectly possible to have a relatively normal life while being treated for cancer. But that doesn't make for any dramatic endings of movies, or dramatic cover stories.